Showing posts with label career. Show all posts
Showing posts with label career. Show all posts

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Damn Klingons

I know...I know...it's been way too long since my last post. Things are still great and I'm thriving as a wolf. A recap of the past 5 months in my new job at my new company include:

  1. Being given an IPOD Touch for "doing a great job"
  2. Being promoted to VP for "doing a great job"
  3. Being given a $9k bonus for "doing a great job"

I'm seriously very lucky to be in the position I'm in. I bust my ars day in and day out, but finally the rewards and recognition are there! I wake up daily ready and willing to go to work and make a difference.

However as things continue to go well at my new company the klingons from my past company keep calling. Yes, I receive almost daily calls and emails from people from my former company asking me to "get them a job" or "put in a good word for them". I was in a meeting and was paged, picked up the phone and it was one of my former co-workers "trying to get a hold of me". Ridiculous!

I don't mind helping people, but I earned what I have. The one guy who keeps calling me basically wants any open position at my company and wants me to "get him in". The problem is that he isn't qualified for any of the position. The other problem is that he only bothers me to ask me to get him a job.

I'm sure many of you Turtles out there are shocked and upset that I wouldn't help. I would, but I'm not going to be phone and email stalked by people who really don't deserve what I had to work hard to get. I have hired on people that I thought were a good fit for my new company, but I'm not bringing on klingons from my past to bring aboard the old bullshit I used to deal with.

It's frustrating, but yet another example of the benefit of being a wolf. When you're a wolf you make your opportunities, you don't expect others to make them for you!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Life is Good!

I know it's been a while since my last post and I apologize to my fellow turtles out there. It's been over two months at my new job and life is very good so far!

A fellow Turtle commented in an earlier post and wanted to know the difference between my new job vs. my old job. Let me see....

New Job: Freedom to make real change vs. Old Job: Suffocation by lazy upper manager

New Job: I actually get feedback & encouragement vs. Old Job: Beatdown after beatdown

New Job: Paid What I'm Worth vs. Old Job: Paid like I was a grocery store bagger.

New Job: My boss is inspiring vs. Old Job: My boss was old, fat, stupid, lazy and demotivating

New Job: I can't wait to go to work vs. Old Job: I couldn't wait for the day to end

New Job: I'm a Wolf vs. Old Job: I was a Turtle

My advice to any Turtle is really explore and understand what kind of company, environment and work you are. It is only after you have done some self assessment will you be able to find a company that fits who you are and what you do. When I was looking to leave my past company I really wanted to make sure I didn't just jump from one bad situation to another (see post Out of the Frying Pan). I really sat down and tried to understand why I was unhappy and what would make me happy. I came to realize that working for large companies with too many chiefs (and not enough indians) was not for me. That was one of the major factors in finding my new company and making the right decision. My self assessment paid off because my mindset, personality and work style fit a smaller company. Hopefully this advise helps some fellow turtles out there.

Turtle King

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Exit Interview

Prior to dropping the Raid parting gift to my clueless ex boss I had my scheduled exit interview with Human Resources. I have written about the HR department at my old company in many posts and their tendancy for the bizarre and idiotic continued in my exit interview.

I first met with the HR manager to go over the exit interview form. In a nutshell the exit interview form is completely for show. You see the HR department at my former company has zero employees with any type of HR certifications. What they do is take ideas they see in HR magazines and implement them half assed, like the exit interview. There is zero understanding of how they can apply the exit interview information to improve the company, identify poor mangers, etc. In any case, I completed the exit interview assessing such areas as company culture, my boss, etc. Since I am competent and logical I provided actual written examples that supported my ratings of the areas of was assessing. Upon completing the form I hand it in to the HR Manager, who seeing low ratings for many of the categories seems astonished. She then uttered "Wow, I guess we really didn't do so well." "That's an understatement" I replied. Why the hell does she think I'm leaving? People don't leave places they like for the most part, they leave because they hate their boss. or their compensation or the company culture.

After a few minutes of mindless discussion the HR Manager sends me over to the HR Director. It's like going from dumb to dumber. At my past company, and probably the company you work for, the higher the title the dumber the person. The HR Director is no exception and I took advantage of her incompetence to identify why I was basically given a final written warning and poor performance review after having reviews of exceeding expectations. It was after about 10 minutes of discussion that the HR Director mentioned "this company is about face time." Viola!!! There it was. The reason why I was basically blackballed. You see at the company I left it's not what you did it's how long you were in the office. My idiot boss sits on his fat ass for 12 hours a day eating cereal and playing solitaire and was revered, yet I put in 8-9 hours and get significant results and I'm a lepper. Amazing!

Aside from getting away from my idiotic boss I realized after the exit interview how lucky I really was to be leaving. You see my past company has all the wrong values and culture. They believe in rewarding people for what they did 10-15 years ago (my boss is a prime example), not for what they do now or can do in the future. They also believe that "face time" means hard work. Maybe I should forward my post to the HR Director on a day in the life of my(former) boss.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Still a Turtle

Fellow Turtles,

I have not abandoned you. I apologize for the lag in posting. With starting a new job, I've been a bit overwhelmed. I will be posted some new entries in the next few days that will bring me up to date. I have a great story to tell about how I said goodbye to my boss.

I may be a wolf..but I'm a Turtle at heart!!!

Turtle King.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Does Your Company Fail the Grade?

Recently I was contacted by a recruiter conerning a position. I was very excited by the contact and the chance to escape from the dungeon (my current company). I spoke with the recruiter for about an hour as he filled me in on the position and company that he was trying to fill a position for. I was very encouraged and am awaiting word back on next steps.

The recruiter gave me his website and encouraged me to review his background and the site overall. In looking over the recruiter's site I found that he publishes a newsletter with some pretty good content. I came across one of his articles in which he talks about the type of company you work for and translates the types into "grades". I thought I'd share the following with all you Turtles as I thought it was very worth while and thought provoking:

What Grade is Your Company?
"Grade A and B companies generally want upwardly mobile people. Grade C companies want people who can perform a specific task adequately. Grade D companies want the cheapest person they can find. Look around you and decide where you are and what you want to be. The earlier in your career you recognize it the easier it is to change."

I, like many of you are stuck in a Grade D company. They want the world, but pay pennies. When your stuck with a Grade D company you are going to become a Turtle eventually because D companies don't want high performers, they want warm bodies. Grade D companies generally are going to pay the upper echelon big shots way to much and the people who actually make the company run way to little. It's a reality that I experience day in and day out. If you are with a Grade D company, take the recruiters advice and make a change. I can only hope this recruiter can hook me up with the Grade A company he is recruiting for. Unfortunately if that happens I have to hang it up as a Turtle at Work and go back to being a Wolf. We'll see!!

Sunday, July 8, 2007

The Grass Is Greener: Understanding What You Value

As part of my job search one of the first thing I realized was that my current company wasn't the right fit for me. I had known this for some time, but became a bit complacent and accepting on my situation. It wasn't until I took inventory of what I valued that I realized how badly I didn't fit with my current company. I found this article on Monster.com titled Work Values Checklist by Pat Boer. As Pat writes in this article

"Whether we realize it or not, often our career choice is based on values rather than the work. "

Pat's comment makes a lot of sense, but like me, I bet many folks out there haven't taken inventory of their values and matched them up with the company/position when you are job searching. In Pat's article there's a checklist that I would encourage any Turtles to complete. Basically you are rating your:

  • Instrinsic Values (intagibles, rewards, satisfiers)
  • Extinsic Values (tangibles, benefits, physical settings), and
  • Lifestyle Values (personal values about how you want to live your life).
From conducting this inventory of values you will have a clear picture on what you really value. As Pat writes "Knowing what's important will help you prepare for your next interview or help you find increased satisfaction with the job you have.". Amen!!

Next I'll provide some tips for the actual interview, including some things I've done in the past that have led to success.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Job Search: The Grass is Greener!

As I mentioned in my prior post Conference Commando, I have decided that I no longer want to be tormented by the clueless executives above me. I've posted many responses on this blog that basically vented about the various career situations I've experienced. I've also tried to explain how companies, through poor management, cause good workers to become turtles at work. I've received many comments from people stating that they experience some of the same situations and are also frustrated. Hopefully through documenting my decision to search for a new job I will help other turtles escape their bad situations and possibly become wolves again.


In making this decision I really looked at the stages of my time at my company. Because my company is so horrible in understanding workers it causes people to ride the "Career Roller Coaster". I went through 5 stops since joining my current company.

(Click on the below graphic and it will launch a bigger, more readable version)

1. Energetic. I came in with great ideas and energy. I was a wolf (ambitious)


2. Optimism. I presented my ideas for change, waiting and hoping they would be successful


3. Neglect. I watched as the executives above me ignored my work.

4. Defeat. I realized that my contributions didn't matters and became a Turtle


5. Search. I made the decision to make a career change to search for a new company.


I'm currently beginning the Search stage of my Coaster ride, hoping to find a company that won't put me on a Roller Coaster. However by starting a smart search by understanding what I value is key. I'll discuss this in my next post.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

As I was flipping through the channels recently I came across the movie Forrest Gump. Now, I’ve seen this movie quite a few times, but this time something dawns on me, “Gump isn’t very smart, yet he is incredibly successful.” I then start to think about how incredibly incompetent the executives at my company are, yet they are all highly compensated and successful. I deduce that not being very smart = success, high pay, high position.

The problem is that I am not dumb or incompetent. Well, like Gump would say “Stupid is as stupid does” and I have plenty of teachers around me to pattern stupidity from. In order to dumb down and thus be successful at my company I must pattern the idiots above me. I’ve come up with these top 5 idiotic behaviors that will lead to my success.

  1. Use Cliché’s. My boss as well as all the other big shots at my company are masters of using cliché’s. As I’ve written about in prior posts, they’ll rattle off the classics like “eat the elephant one bite at a time” or “sometimes you can’t see the forest through the trees”. I have done extensive googling to find my own repertoire of cliché’s that I will use. I’ve come up with:

    Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it
    Let’s focus on picking off the low hanging fruit
    The balls in your court
    That’s thinking outside the box
    I think we can agree to disagree

    When they use a cliché I will follow up their cliché with my own cliché and see what happens. I hoping that they will see my skill at clicheing and take me as one of their own.

  2. Develop a Behavior Tick. One of the executives winks after he thinks he’s made a point. Another executive has a humming type laugh after he responds to a comment. I’m thinking about using an eyebrow raise or possibly doing a rhythmic table tap following comments I make.

  3. Sidestep Details. In the past I would walk through issues step by step to try and figure out exactly what the problem is. My new approach will be to come to broad and general conclusions to issues presented to me without investigating them at all. If employees try to give me specifics I can use behavior #1 and throw out a cliché to deflect their efforts to explain the issue.

  4. Avoid Planning. I will not put plans in place in anticipation of potential problems. I will instead wait for a major problem to occur, and then scramble to figure out what to do. Why bother with trying to plan for retirements, possible system issues, or even a disaster? Fly by the seat of my pants, I say! (Note the use of cliché, nice right?)

  5. Be Consistently, Inconsistent. I will take every opportunity to confuse my employees by constantly changing the objectives and strategy of my department. In addition I will make vague requests of my employees, and then wait till they complete the request to change my mind on what I actually want. Some days I will be happy and friendly, while others I will be completely nasty and harsh. Gotta keep them on their toes.

Hell, the formula of dumb = success worked for Forrest Gump, and it certainly works in real life as I’m surrounded by idiot executives at my company. If I can’t beat them, then I might as well join them (note: another cliché used). Wow, being dumb really isn’t that hard, now I’ll just sit back and wait for my promotion.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

12!

A co-worker recently gave me some background on a book he had started reading. My co-worker and I are both high performers, struggling in a company that just doesn’t seem to value or care about its employees. The book we were discussing was 12: The Elements of Great Managing. Through thousands of interviews across various organizations, industries and countries, the Gallup Organization has determined 12 fundamental questions that determine if a workplace promotes an environment that is geared towards enhancing employee’s abilities and talents, resulting in high performance. This is the basis for the book. These 12 questions are:


  1. I know what is expected of me at work.

  2. I have the materials and equipment I need to do my work right.

  3. At work, I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day.

  4. In the last seven days, I have received recognition or praise for doing good work.

  5. My supervisor, or someone at work, seems to care about me as a person.

  6. There is someone at work who encourages my development.

  7. At work, my opinions seem to count.

  8. The mission or purpose of my company makes me feel my job is important.

  9. My associates or fellow employees are committed to doing quality work.

  10. I have a best friend at work.

  11. In the last six months, someone at work has talked to me about my progress.
    This last year,

  12. I have had opportunities at work to learn and grow.

Copyright © 1992-1999 The Gallup Organization, Princeton, NJ. All rights reserved.


As I was reading through the book and pondering the above questions, I realized that this book very much relates to why people become Work Turtles. In reviewing these questions, it really reveals to me that the simple details of how leaders interact with their employees dictate whether an employee will continue to perform or not. I believe most managers take many if not all of the above 12 questions for granted and become too focused on the tasks and work, instead of their employees.

I began to go down the list of questions and realized that each “No” is the reason for me becoming a Turtle at Work. This lack of management support has resulted in my being further and further withdrawn and disconnected from trying hard.

When I first joined my current company two years ago, I saw that many of the people I would interact with were withdrawn, much like I am now. Being a high performer, I thought that I could re-energize people by working hard, getting results and involving them in the process. I wasn’t aware of the 12 questions at the time, but I was living up to them in how I interacted with employees inside and outside of my department. Even though success came early and often, my attitude did little to change the overall lack of drive in my company. I soon realized I was one person trying to change an overall flawed culture that did not encourage performance.

I realized that I had joined a Work Turtle environment, in which most workers just wanted to do the bare minimum and blend in. I initially felt the workers were wrong in acting this way, because I was giving them 100% effort. However, one manager trying to live by the 12 essentials is not enough to turn a culture around. The book describes that one good manager will create another good manager with the ripple eventually reaching the entire company. The problem is that I am in the middle, not at the top and my ripple of positive employee interaction hit the wall of old school, uninspired upper management.

As I was discussing this book with my co-worker, our boss came over and asked what we were talking about. As I began to explain the concept to him, he simply said “huh”, shrugged his shoulders and walked off before I had finished my comment. I had thought about suggesting this book to my boss as a must read for all in management, my “huh” response told me it would be ignored.

I believe this book is a must read if you are a manager of an organization that actually does care about employees. Managing the 12 elements properly and expecting each manager in your company to do the same will prevent your employees from becoming Turtles at Work.


Sunday, March 11, 2007

I Was a Wolf, Now I'm a Turtle

There was a time in my life in which I was not a Turtle. Really I'm not all together a Turtle now, I just choose to conduct myself following the Philosophy of the Turtle. No, at one point I was a proud, courageous, ambitious and career minded individual with thoughts of glory and riches. Yes, at one time I was a Wolf.


As a Wolf I would seek out opportunities, because after all that is what a Wolf does. But I was not just any Wolf, I was the Alpha, the powerful, the dominate! I was the leader of the pack, ready and willing to impose my will, skill and ability to lead other Wolves. I was not a loner because Wolves, unlike Turtles, are not loners. Wolves desire the teamwork and comradery of the pack. I would take chances and people respected me for my ability to do so.


I can remember several points in my career in which my Wolf traits got me into trouble. I didn't care, I just chalked it up to effort and most of my bosses lacked a clue to really discipline me anyway. I lived by the "What the Fuck" theory given in the movie Risky Business.


Miles: Joel, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, "What the fuck." "What the fuck" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.


Say "what the fuck."... If you can't say it, you can't do it.


Yes, that is what Alpha Wolves do, they say "What the Fuck" and storm in with their team, their pack and get the kill. They are tenacious and magnificent and everything a Wolf is, I was.


It almost makes me sad writing this post as I remember back to some of my Wolf days and realize how much fun and excitment being a Wolf is. I must catch myself though and realize there is "safety within the shell". Unfortunately, being a Wolf and certainly and Alpha Wolf is not ecouraged at my current company, nor my prior companies.

Please feel free to respond to any of my posts. Let loose with any of your Wolf, Turtle or Work Frustration comments or stories.

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