Turtles at Work

This blog relates to my overall philosophy of how poor management in companies creates an environment in which the hard workers evolve into "turtle workers". Anyone who has really tried to make a difference at a company realizes the red tape, road blocks, and mass incompetence you have to fight through to get things done. Eventually over time people become disillusioned and revert to the ways of the turtle. What every "turtle worker" knows is.....

1. Turtles know comfort within the shell. Stick your head out and risk getting it bit off by someone bigger than you! Stay within the comfort of the shell as much as possible!


2. Turtles didn't survive millions of years by being innovative. Stop thinking "outside the shell".


3. Turtles stay low to the ground. Stay low, that way you won't be seen.


4. Turtles move slow and steady. There is no reward in going faster or trying harder. You'll get there when you get there!


5. A Turtle on it's back is a dead turtle. Don't be vulnerable to others, they'll take advantage of you in a second.


6. Turtles have great eyesight and smell. Look out for idiots around you and sniff out any bullshit they dish out.


7. Turtles are green for a reason. Blend in with your surroundings!


8. Turtles left in the sun too long will die. Avoid the spotlight, it will kill you!


9. Turtles only hear half as well as other animals. Only listen to half of what you hear and ignore the rest.


10. Most Turtles lack the ability to make vocal sounds. Keep your mouth shut as much as possible, you only bring more grief onto yourself by speaking up!