Thursday, November 15, 2007

Resignation Fantasy

A fellow Turtle recently posted a comment stating how Turtles at Work has really helped them. In the same comment though, the person noted that they still crave to become a Wolf again and be surrounded by other wolves in a productive and rewarding environment. In commenting back to this person I noted that I too shared the dream of one day becoming a Wolf (agressive, motivated worker).

Recently I have had some job opportunities pop up that not only provide me with better compensation, but also re-introduce me to a Wolf environment. An environment in which I will be able to actually achieve, thrive, and be rewarded for my skills and abilities. As I day dreamed today in my office I began thinking of the opportunities.

Over the past few years I have survived incompetence around me through my Turtle philosophy. I have had to deal with idiots above me that have no clue about people and how important it is to say "thank you" or "job well done". I have dealt with the fact that my company pays poorly, so although I am a quality individual, I am surrounded by drones that clock in and out (these are not Turtles, they're sloths...big difference). I also have had this system of mediocracy beat me down with meaningless performance reviews and shitty, why bother, pay increases.

It is with all that anger that I then turn my thoughts to my resignation letter. I have pondered the thought of how I would handle my resignation. Do I stay classy and be very short and sweet, never uttering a negative word? Or.. Do I let go the frustration of the past few years and really lay the wood on my boss and the idiots I've had to endure? If I go with the ladder of the two I'm reminded of the classic Chevy Chase movie Christmas Vacation in which is utters the following rant about his boss and the shitty raise he received for Christmas:

I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a…….. cheap, lying, no-good, rotten,four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol? (Note: I've posted a You Tube clip of it on the sidebar).


Many of my co-workers and myself often fantasized about that glorious day when we could march into the manager's office and make a firm suggestion as to which body cavity our jobs could be inserted into. In a polite and professional way of course.

Unfortunately when I resigned this year it was a very unsatisfying anti-climax. Resignations required only the completion of a form, but it was an electronic form so there wasn't even the joy of waving a paper form in front of everyone, or sticking a copy on the wall. Not only was there not a single mention of thanks for my decade of quality work, but the miserable organisation didn't even have the courtesy to acknowledge my resignation (not even a computer generated letter). The only tangible thing to show that I resigned was the fact that salary stopped going into my account.

The lack of closure was frustrating. If you're not going to be appreciated at work, or thanked when you leave (however insincere it may be), then a bit of satisfaction in the resignation process shouldn't be too much to ask.

Hello Graham,

Good to hear from you. The resignation is one of the only times that I can think of that I could really let loose and tell people how bad things are and what I think of them. The only issue is that are they actually competent enough to understand??

If I go on a rant and tell my boss to stick it, in the end, he's still making a huge salary for doing nothing. It's a debate I've had going on in my mind for some time.

Sink to their level and flip out on the idiots that have screwed with me or go out quietly and feel no satisfaction from telling them how I feel. Tough one.

Anyhow..I see you resigned. Are you in a better situation now? Hopefully you are and I wish you luck. Feel free to drop me a line or email anytime.

Turtle King

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