Friday, February 15, 2008

The Bug: Burning Bridges

It's been a month since my last real post and I must again apologize for the lag. I've been really busy at my new job and had to adjust to not dreading going to work everyday.

I'll catch you all up on my last days as a Turtle at my old company. I've written in previous posts about what I would do or like to do on my last day at my old company. Leading into my final days I had kept it low key, without really stirring the pot. Three days before my departure my idiot boss enters my office. He decides to throw a few shots my way. His comments were meant to make me re-think my leaving and even feel anxiety at the thought of starting a new job. I deflected his comments like the Turtle I am by blocking him out by thinking about the positives of me leaving.

After he left my office I started to boil a little. The part Wolf that I am began to emerge. "Who the hell does that fat ass think he is?" I asked myself. This guy has been a complete dickhead for the past year to me. He's given me a written warning without explanation, a shitty review and an even worse pay increase. He's taken shot after shot on me and I've had to take it because I really had no choice at the time. The wheels began to turn and my thoughts started to focus on my last day revenge. I couldn't do something idiotic or violent, even though the thought of taking a dump in his office crossed my mind. Instead I thought of something that I could do that I and rest of my co-workers could joke about.

On my last day I reported into work with my plan in place. With me I had brought a gift for my clueless boss. I had gift wrapped it in nice paper and included a nice little note. I waited til around 3:00pm in the afternoon and went into idiot's office. I handed him the gift.

"What's this" my boss asked.

"A little parting gift that I thought could help you out." I replied

My boss look bewildered and began to open the box.

"A can of Raid? What is this for?" he asked.

I quickly replied "Well, I figured you could use it. Since you've had a bug up your ass for over a year I thought you could use the Raid to kill it. You know me...team player just trying to help you out and save my former co-workers some stress. Later!" And I left his office, the building and never looked back.

I know you should never burn bridges but I figured why do I need a bridge, I'm looking ahead and never looking back!

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